Mall Madness or, How I Met Your Mother



By Timothy Mattes

Growing up in the Nineties and early Oughts the mall was a mainstay of urban decay for me.  I witnessed the rise and fall of Music stores, I played on an arcade machine during the final hours of the arcade era, I have eaten at pizza places that no longer exist but the smells and allure still remain.  There is something about the rush of commerce and the close knit network of stores to spend your paycheck at that continue to draw us.  Whether it’s the delicious smell of the Cinabon or the new assless chaps at Spencers or that shirt from that band that you liked before they were cool at Hot Topic.  The Mall was a massive part of my life growing up.  Nowadays the mall is streamlined like everything else in our lives.  The mad rush to get what you need and get out has drastically changed what used to be an all-day event.

Thankfully Parker Brothers created a game in the late eighties that captures the joy of wasting a couple of hours in a Mall.  The mad rush of catching a flash sale, the door buster deals to be had, the pizza!  All of it is in this game.  The only unrealistic part of Mall Madness, the only stretch is that you have hundreds of dollars to blow and every time you go to the ATM you can just magically pull more.  This game held up in shocking form from what I remember playing as a kid.   Whether you are a group of adults or if kids are in the mix this is one of those games that everyone can play and do their own thing and the winner is always a surprise.   Although there is a luck factor to the game strategy helps out a lot if you are behind the eight ball.  All said and done Mall Madness is a game that can be played by anyone at any time and has now become a love-letter to a forgotten era of commerce.   Show your kids what a Saturday night used to be with a game of Mall Madness followed immediately by Party Mania.


Final Score: 8.7/10

I don’t Honestly See myself playing this regularly but I will definitely try to trick people into playing it with me.

And with that this has been a review from your humble moderator.

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